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Making Spaghetti and Meatballs is hard...

September 19, 2017


It was his favorite meal! Tears stream as I stand here stirring the sauce.  


I never know when the emotions will roll  in.  There is no explaining this type of aching in your heart.   


These are not tears of regret or wishes for words not  spoken. We had that unique relationship and we said what we meant - all the time.  Things like...

  • I love you! 

  • I appreciate you!

  • I am so glad God gave you to me! 

  • Wow! God did good when He picked you for me!!

  • We are MARRIED!! 

    (It still excited us to think about even after 27 years!!) 

These things were said all the time and I thank God for that. 


These tears are just sheer missing him.  I just miss being together. I miss laughing and dreaming with him.  I miss him calming me down when I get overwhelmed and I miss him killing all the spiders!! (I was spraying some yesterday on the back porch!! 😳eek!) 


I have friends who keep in touch with me and my kiddos are so wonderful at filling my heart with snuggles and busyness but there is nothing that can take away the pain when 2 have become one and now half of you is gone.  


“and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” 

Mark 10:8


I am so blessed to have a Comforter.  Just when I think I might just fall too deep into my sadness the Holy Spirit is so faithful to sweep in and pick me up and I allow Him too.  He truly brings a supernatural comfort and unexplainable peace in the middle of my sorrow.  


The kids love my spaghetti too and Gracen will be so excited to have his favorite cheese bread!! 


Love you all so much. Thanks for letting me share my heart. 










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