Birthdays....thanksgiving....Christmas!!! We used to be so happy to have these events right together!! Now it hurts so bad!! Peyton and Gracen share a birthday in November and Reagan’s is January 15th (the same day as my fathers) and Thanksgiving and Christmas fall in between.
Tonight I was preordering my sons birthday gift and I was writing what would be on the card when it arrived in the mail. I had to sign it!! I just sat there because for the first I had to sign it “Love, MOM”!! Ugh!! I sit here crying ... “ugly crying” as I write this!!! Some days I just want to scream .... NO!! I always sign it Mom... AND DAD!! It’s not suppose to be like this!!!! My kids deserve their daddy!!
And then as I weep I take my shattered heart to JESUS!!! I don’t pretend I just lay my tears and pain at his feet!!! I can feel his tender comfort as I weep. I am so thankful for Jesus. I am so thankful I have a Savior that has also wept. One of the shortest verses in the Bible is in John 11 and it says, “Jesus wept.”
I serve a Savior who understands my pain and He understands yours as well. It’s okay to hurt and even get angry just make sure you get your help and your comfort from God. Take it to Him even when it is messy , honest and ugly. He can take it!!!’ Let him comfort you. He is faithful. We may not understand everything that happens while we are here on earth but this I know it won’t last long and soon we will all be living in eternity and I know Wade will have much to show us!!! I am pretty sure He is already preparing the tour for us just like he could not wait to show me Texas on our honeymoon and how excited he was to show the kids the Grand Canyon a few years ago. He loved to share life with us!! I am sure he can’t wait to share eternity with us as well.
Until then we are determined to be his legacy and represent His life well. To LOVE.... REALLY LOVE PEOPLE like he did and share the gospel with everyone we can. #vision20/20 #consumedbythecall #allIgotforever.