Conversations with your kids.
CONVERSATIONS! Don’t miss the importance of these!!! Every conversation could be the one that totally changes the trajectory of your child’s life. Even littles! Most of the time when a child is acting out, it is because they feel alone, confused, or rejected. Most of the time, a little intentional, uninterrupted time with you will make a big difference. Don’t believe me? Try it!
When Esau heard his father's words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, "Bless me--me too, my father!" (Genesis 27:34)
Many times, I hear people tell the story of Jacob and Esau all wrong. You will hear how Jacob stole his twin brother Esau‘s inheritance by deceiving their father into believing He was Esua, but that’s not what happened at all. In Genesis, chapter 25, Esau gives his birthright, his right to lead the household in the case of his fathers death and the right to receive a double portion of all his father possessions —for a bowl of soup!! Because of hunger he gave up his inheritance! But two chapters later the Esau is wailing and weeping because his brother stole his blessing!
A blessing is a word spoken by a parent over a child! It is filled with blessing, direction and prophetic words! It really has nothing to do with stuff! It has nothing to do with money or possessions! Esau sold his inheritance for a bowl of soup but when it came to his blessing he wept and begged his father to bless him too!
Why?! Because we were built and created to receive and need this blessing. The old adage that says “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”—is a lie! Many times in my counseling the root of all the problems is based on what they never got as a child! It usually has nothing to do with money, possessions, big houses, or the best toys. It almost always is based in their need to feel worthy, loved and blessed! Whether it’s a broken marriage, anger, anxiety, fear or depression it most times is based in the fact they were never blessed by their parents. Many people will tell me their parents provided for them and worked hard but they never felt worthy or approved of. Many times these parents are shocked. They thought that it was obvious how they felt about their children, that somehow that child would know through there actions. I think, as a culture, we have forgotten the importance of intentional words! Blessings.
So, how do we bless our children? There are a few steps. MEANINGFUL TOUCH: a hug, a high five, a rub on the head, cupping their face. Even in the Bible we see the importance of touch through healing. The Bible tells us that when we pray for the sick to lay your hands on them. Touch is so important. SPOKEN WORD: don’t assume somebody knows! Speak up! Be intentional with your words! Not just flattery‘s but personal heart felt words that speak directly into your child’s gifting, heart, and God calling! Your words called out what God has placed in your child’s life! God is giving you the power through your words to empower and bring life to those things. PICTURE A SPECIAL FUTURE: speak into their future, show them what you see and how you vision who they could become! This is not about being realistic this is about speaking what could happen if they placed their faith in a God who could do the impossible! This is not a time to project your dreams on your child, but to express what you see God is choosing for them. Lastly, A COMMITMENT TO THAT FUTURE. if you have a child who is showing potential in music but never get them a musical instrument do you really expect them to believe you? Of course not. When you see their gifting‘s and you point them out by blessing them, then you have to make a commitment to support that blessing. If your child is artistic then buy them the pen and the brush. If their musical support them by getting them an instrument or surrounding them by mentors that will help their voice. If they are a writer then give them a journal. If they play sports then buy them the equipment they need and give them the opportunity to play.
it’s simple, but it is also... so difficult! We live in a world of distractions! Cell phones, social media, to much homework, tv, video games and overtime. We will have to be intentional as parents! Don‘t miss the little conversations that can turn into life altering moments. Be willing to stop everything for the “little ones” that you love more than the world! Don’t let your job make you forget why you do that job in the first place!